You see, that’s who I am right now. Hannah. I’m just like her in spirit anyway. I’m begging and pleading with God for something it FEELS like I cannot live without. Now, I know some of you know me so I will just go ahead and say IT IS NOT ANOTHER CHILD! Ahem! Just wanted to remove that thought from your mind! Anyway, it is something my heart and soul long for and something I know lines up with what obedience to God’s word prescribes. I’ve begged and cried and prayed and pleaded for months and months and months! It SEEMS like it’s been ages and it FEELS like God doesn’t care. It FEELS like He hasn’t and won’t move on my behalf. It SEEMS like He answers all other prayers but that one. The big one. The only one I’m desperate for. That’s the one He ignores. I really FEEL that way– just hopeless.
But, as we all know, FEELINGS can be deceptive!
Lately, my thoughts about this issue have repeatedly brought me to Hannah. (I know now the Holy Spirit was doing that!) And today, I read I Samuel chapter 1-2. I’ve read it before but today I know God brought me there. And, well, I saw myself and I saw my God in those words!
Hannah was so desperate for years to have a child that she was ” deeply distressed and prayed to The Lord and wept bitterly” ( I Samuel 1:9-10) when she came before The Lord. She describes herself as having a “sorrowful spirit”(vs. 15) and “pouring out her soul before The Lord “. She had an “abundance of complaint and grief” (vs. 16) as she prayed. She was JUST LIKE ME! Desperate.
Most people know that God have her the desire of her heart- a son. We know she committed that son to serve The Lord all his days and took him to live at the temple once he was weaned. I should take heart just reading the story, her faith, and how God answered her. I should rejoice to know God is faithful. But today, I needed something else and God knew it. So, after that, is the prayer of Hannah!
In I Samuel chapter 2, Hannah has taken her son to live at the temple and she stays to pray. And Hannah prays. And it’s powerful! Her prayer worships the God who controls ALL things and ALL people-the mighty and the weak, the rich and the poor, the barren and the fertile! She exalts Him as the One who can change ANY circumstance, probably because she witnessed Him do it! Read it. It’s there and it’s awesome! It’s like rain in the desert, people!
I cannot express how I needed to read that passage today, but I have a hunch that I’m not the only one. Maybe you are weeping bitterly for a lost loved one or a wayward child. Perhaps your heart aches on behalf of one God has laid on your heart. Maybe, you’re desperate for God to hear you and you’ve poured out your soul before the Lord for the desire of your heart. Maybe, you feel hopeless. I know you’re out there because we’ve talked before about these issues! This post is for you. God fed my soul then laid it on my heart to share.
I love hidden jewels in God’s Word like this one. I hope you are blessed and renewed by the Word. My prayer isn’t answered yet, but today His word brought hope and healing to the cracked and broken parts of me. I pray the same for you!
Elisabeth Elliott said, ” the deepest spiritual lessons are not learned by letting us have our way in the end, but by His making us wait, bearing with us in love and patience, until we are able to HONESTLY pray what he taught his disciples to pray- ‘Thy will be done’ “!